Love And Honesty
by Dark Card Mistress
Summary: Everyone's thoughts in The Hive. Sequel to Poker Face. JohnElizabeth


Follow up to "Poker Face".

Spoilers: The Hive and the tiniest bit for Siege Part I.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis.

**Love and Honesty**

Kate Heightmeyer, Psychiatrist

I knew that Dr. Weir cared for Colonel Sheppard. As a psychiatrist, I can see these things. The way she reacts when his team doesn't call in when scheduled or when they failed to come home on time, it's hard not to see it. I can tell that she denies her feelings, and I also know that practically all of the military part of the Atlantis expedition turns a blind eye when it comes to that matter while the rest of the civilians continue to observe their interactions without a word. I had heard that Rodney and Zelenka had started betting on random things and that whether they were seeing each other was one of them.

I was presently sitting in my office with Elizabeth, cradling a cup of coffee in one hand and a clipboard in another. On Carson's orders, she was to take an hour session with me to deal with some emotional problems she's been having, the disappearance of John Sheppard.

"Dr. Weir…Elizabeth…how have you been feeling?" I survey her over my clipboard. She's sitting with her knees brought up to her chest and is looking out at the scenery outside.

"To be honest, tired."

"Then why don't you get some rest?" I'm not exactly sure why I ask this question, I know the answer anyways.

"I can't. I can't rest knowing that John and his team could be out there, dead for all we know!"

"Right." I take a sip of my coffee. "What are your feelings concerning Colonel John Sheppard?" I look up at her and she's turned away from the scenery.

She pauses before answering. "It's professional." She looks right at me and I know she doesn't want to admit it to anyone but her eyes betray her words.

"Really?" She looks down at her own coffee cup.

"Yes." Her watch alarm goes off. Elizabeth looked at the watch in surprised and looked at me in apology. She has to leave. "Kate, I'm sorry to cut this session short, but it got to go. Maybe some other time I'll come back and fill in the missing time." Elizabeth smiled gently before she left me pondering over the very short session.

M. Lorne, Major

I walked through the halls of the ancient city, making my way to the briefing room for the pre-mission briefing. This was going to be the eleventh planet I'm going to search and I had a horrible gut that the results that come from this planet will be the same as the rest.

As I entered the room, I stopped short to see that Dr. Weir had not yet arrived. The other members of my team were sitting around the table but no Weir. I stepped warily into the room and sat down in my respected seat. We all just sat there in silence, waiting for someone to say something or for Weir to just appear, but she didn't. It wasn't until I spoke moments later that we bothered to actually do something.

"Where's Dr. Weir?" Just as I asked the question, she came in, breathless.

"Sorry, I forgot the time and was preoccupied." She sat down in her seat and started the briefing.

As she spoke, I noticed she looked very tired. I figured that she hadn't gotten much sleep since Col. Sheppard's team went missing. A while back, I heard rumors that Sheppard and Teyla were seeing each other but so were Sheppard and Weir. I disregarded them merely as rumors, fake, but over time, I noticed that the interaction between Sheppard and Teyla was more of a brotherly/sisterly relationship.

When I saw Sheppard and Weir talking, it was like they were in their own little world. I ignored it of course, I didn't want to report them, they were nice people, and they did their jobs well. I saw them getting closer and occasionally flirting with each other, hoping no one else would see it and turn them in, but now, it's hard not to miss it.

"Now check in every three hours and try to stay in radio contact." Weir's voice broke my thoughts as I looked up, pretending to know what I was to do. I didn't need to be at briefings anymore. They were always the same. Contact time, don't get lost and come back alive.

C. Campbell, Technician

I'd look at Dr. Weir from time to time because, in all honesty, she looked like she was about to collapse any moment. As I looked at the Stargate, I wondered where they were. I didn't want to admit it but I was afraid that they were lost, for good. I let out a sigh as I took a sip of coffee that I had placed in front of me earlier.

Just as I lowered it to my lips for a sip, the Stargate started to dial. I almost chocked on my coffee but I regained my posture before Dr. Weir could see. One of the other technicians called out 'Unscheduled Activation' over the speakers just as Dr. Weir came to me. I told him it was Dr. McKay's IDC and lowered the shield.

Everyone in the control tower and gate room stared at the figure that emerged from the wormhole, blurting out that he knew what to do. From where I was standing in the control room, it just looked like Dr. McKay walking around in circles with Dr. Weir trying to get him to the infirmary now and again. I would have laughed if the situation of the fact that Dr. McKay was drugged up and that Col. Sheppard's team was still missing weren't so serious.

Carson Beckett, Doctor

I knew Rodney was going to come back dramatically, but I never once imagined him being drugged up on the enzyme. Injured and wailing from a small cut, yes, but being drugged up with huge amounts of Wraith enzyme was not on my list. As I restrained him to the bed, he began to thrash as the enzyme began to leave his body.

"Rodney? Can you hear me?" I laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Carson? I need more enzyme and would you please stop shouting?" He yelled at me as he gasped for breath once and a while whilst thrashing.

"I'm not shouting."

"W-why am I restrained? Afraid that I might do to you what I did to the guards?"

"Rodney, calm do-" My sentence was cut off when he broke free of one of the arm restraints, grabbed my lab coat and yanked me towards him.

"Get me out of here." I'd never heard his voice that low and deep. Thankfully, some marines was able to pry myself from him and restrain him again as he began to whine.

Steven Caldwell, Colonel

As Dr. Weir filled me in on what had transpired, we walked towards the infirmary. She seemed quite eager to go there. She wanted answers to what happened to her team. I suspected that there was something more to it than that. Usually I would just ask members of the expedition but I knew they wouldn't tell me. They wanted their leader to stay, and that is how I know that there's something up.

She always seems to be on her guard, having arguments whenever there's something concerned with Col. Sheppard. I have noticed this and plan on reporting it to Gen. Landry.

Rodney McKay, Astrophysicist

The first thing that hit me when I woke up was that my arms and neck hurt. As in, _really_ badly. When I got used to the pain of my neck whenever I turned it, I noticed that Carson was next to me in a chair, head bobbing up and down, half asleep. I reached up to shake him awake but found that I was restrained. At that moment, I remembered what had happened and I felt like hitting myself on the forehead. I tried to break free from the restraints but since I had no enzyme in my body anymore, I was back to being good ol' Doctor Rodney McKay. There wasn't any nurses or doctors around besides the one sleeping in the chair.

"Um, Carson?" I said, uneasily.

Carson jerked awake immediately before turning to me. He looked at me with question in his eyes before he stood up in shock. "Rodney! How are you feeling?"

"Well aside for the headache and the fact that I'm still strapped to a bed, I'm just fine."

Carson Beckett, Doctor

Sarcastic as ever but it's good to have him back. I took out my slim penlight and shined it in his eyes and checked him vitals. He grunted and kicked around a bit.

"Could you _please_ untie me now that you finished your voodoo doctor ways?"

"If it stops you from whining." I unbuckled the belts that tied him down to the bed and Rodney sat up, stretching. He winced in pain as his back bone cracked.

"Ah ha, why are my legs and arms burning?" I handed him a power bar to satisfy his hunger for the meantime. He ripped it open, despite his muscle pains, and started munching on the bar.

"Well, I assumed that you broke out into sprint when you were running to the gate." Rodney looked at me as if I missed out on a key part of information. I sighed and continued. "After you knocked out the guards." He looked all-smug again and nodded.

"Yes, that's right!" I started talking before he continued.

"Yes, now that you are awake, I'll go and inform Dr. Weir of the news." Hopefully, that'll take some stress off her shoulders.

Rodney McKay, Astrophysicist

When I told Elizabeth that Ford's ingenious and stupid plan was to destroy a Wraith Hive ship, she looked like she could have a hart-attack. I don't really blame her. The plan was stupid and had so many problems in it that it amazes me that he could think of something as bizarre as that. But then, I don't really blame him since I just went through what it must be like, doped up on that amount of enzyme.

As I worked on calculating the distance with the gate address I had, I noticed that one of the technicians looked at Elizabeth once and a while. I ignored it of course, don't have time to waste, have to save Major Sheppard's team because they count on me a great deal. The more I tried to focus, the harder it got for me to not look at what the technician was so amazed about.

Finally I looked up and noticed that more than one technician was shooting glances into Elizabeth's office. I slowly turn my head to see Elizabeth sitting in her chair, laptop on, holding a photo frame. I knew which one she was holding; it was the only picture on her desk. It was a picture of everyone, John, Elizabeth, Teyla, Ford and myself.

When Peter was alive, he took a photo of all of us having lunch in the mess hall. John and Elizabeth were on the outside while the rest of us sat on the inside. I wasn't exactly sure what they were talking about but I do remember what Ford and I was. Movies, science fiction/action movies. I still think Star Wars is the ultimate sci-fi action movie of all time, but no, Ford thinks Indiana Jones series were the best. Has he no taste? Urgh. He even tried to make Teyla like Indiana Jones rather than Star Wars!

Oh no, Elizabeth's looked up and is looking at me strangely. Try to look busy Rodney, busy, busy. I still think Star Wars is the best…too bad I didn't get to watch the movie that came out earlier this year. I heard that there was a fifteen-minute fighting scene between Anakin and Obi-Wan. Hmm.

M. Lorne, Major

Another day, another planet, another disappointment. But this time when I got back to Atlantis, I noticed that Dr. Weir was a bit more cheery than when I left. She was still morose, yes, but there was some tension off her shoulders. I merely shrugged it off and continued to the infirmary to get checked out for a clean bill of health.

When I got to the infirmary, I stood there in shock. There sitting in front of me was Rodney McKay. He looked up and jumped off the bed and walked towards me. Carson groaned and told him off for walking away in the middle of his examination.

"Major! Good to see you back!" He patted me on the back and I looked questioningly to Dr. Beckett.

"Rodney came back just after you went off world." I nodded in understanding. Beckett moved forward and shined his penlight in McKay's eye one more time before nodding that he was as healthy as he could be.

"Great. Oh and Major, you and your team has another pre-mission brief in the morning." And thus, Rodney strutted out leaving Beckett and I shaking our heads.

Radek Zelenka, Astrophysicist

Earlier this morning I sat in the briefing and listened to Rodney prattle on about Lt. Ford's plan to destroy the Hive ship and how it was incompetent. I looked around the room and noticed that everyone had disbelief on their face. How couldn't you? A plan to destroy the biggest Wraith ship that we know of while only using a drug that could give you, in Rodney's terms, superpowers that lasts for a limited amount of time. It's beyond insane. Of course, Rodney made it very clear to everyone that the plan was beyond insane. Finally, they had made up a plan where they go to the coordinates that Rodney calculated and retrieve them, and destroy the ship if it came to that.

That was this morning. I was now walking back to my lab after seeing Rodney off. I walked past Elizabeth's office and saw that she was pacing in the space she had, head down looking at the ground. She looked worried, but then again, who would blame her?

Kate Heightmeyer, Psychiatrist

We've been sitting here for just about half an hour and I could tell that the only reason why she was sitting in front of me again was because she had to distract herself. If she continued pacing in her office, she would have worn a hole through the floor. So now, here she was, in my office with her feet up again.

"Are you willing to start from where we left off?" She nodded. "How have you coped with the arrival of Dr. McKay?"

"I'm glad he's back, I really am…"

I finished her sentence off. "But you wish Col. Sheppard was too."

"Col. Sheppard and his _team_."

"Of course." I paused hoping that she would say something, but no such luck. She didn't exactly want to be here so I decided to give her a chance. "Dr. Weir…Elizabeth…if you want, we could continue this session some other time if it makes you more comfortable."

"No, it's fine. I asked for your time at a short notice so I'll stay here." I nodded.

"Just talk whenever you feel like you need to." Thus we sat there for a further ten minutes before she spoke.

"I miss him."

I pushed the subject. "As do we all."

"I've grown fond of him. Without him, I feel as if I'm not complete. As if a part of me is missing."

"Do you love him?"

"The regulations forbid it and now that we're not totally cut off from Earth…" I was growing tired of that excuse.

"But do you love him?"

"Colonel Caldwell is breathing down our necks, waiting for John or myself to stuff up so he could take over." I took note that she referred to Col. Sheppard as John. She was letting go now.

"Forget about him, rules or anything. Just answer the question."

"It isn't allowed."

I sighed. "Elizabeth," I said, exasperated.

"I tried to not get close to him, I really did, but since he's getting himself into more and more trouble, I worry about him more." I examine her face. She looked as if she was about to cry and I wouldn't blame her. A true leader mustn't be scared to cry. She sniffs and starts talking in a small voice. "When the times are seriously like now, I cry myself to sleep."

"So…"

"In meetings, he always has his smirk on when I'm stressed out about something. It just makes me want to wipe it right off and comb his hair in the process. He makes me so angry sometimes but…"

"You love him."

She looked up at me for the first time this session. "Yes."

C. Campbell, Technician

Oh boy, Dr. Weir is not going to be happy about this. "Cope that, Atlantis out." I really didn't want to be the one to tell her but I doubt anyone else wanted to take my position. I told her that there was nothing to search for, me not wanting to tell her directly that _he_ was dead. I walked back quietly and sat back in my chair. I looked at her just as she entered her office to see that she put her hand over her eyes. I turned away giving her privacy just as the gate began to dial. "Off world activation!" I was so glad that I was the one to tell her that it was Col. Sheppard's code. I was more than happy to lower the shield as she ran down the stairs to greet them.

John Sheppard, Colonel

I walked through the gate and saw that Elizabeth was running down to greet us. I smiled. "Sorry we're late." As one of the gate techs told us that the Daedalus was landing soon, I could tell that she couldn't have been happier than she was. She ordered us to get checked out in the infirmary and we all complied. She followed us and when she got to the exit of the gate room, she stopped me from walking on.

"Elizabeth?" I stood there, shocked, as she drew me into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much," she whispered into my ear. I smiled and hugged her back, neither of us caring who saw us.

"I missed you too." I held her in my arms as we stayed that way for a little while longer, caught in the moment.

FIN

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